The Second Breast

I feel the need to get all Simone de Beauvoir today because of a write up of an article that a friend sent to me (thanks Meggan!). There's a piece out called "Is Breastfeeding Fair?" by Dr. Deborah McCarter-Spaulding (she's a certified lactation consultant) and it delves into whether breastfeeding is anti-feminist. The idea behind this is that since breastfeeding is an act that only a woman can physically do then that is a limitation on the equality striven for by feminists. To which the reaction of many is "then what about pregnancy?" to which we say "that requires a woman whereas feeding can be accomplished by other means".

So back to the boobs and the food they produce. I am all for academic adventuring and theorizing. Since one of my majors was women's studies, I am even in support of this particular flavor of navel gazing. However, I find myself refuting the very premise that inspired this line of exploration. Whether one is talking about multicultural feminism or liberal feminism or egalitarian feminism, the main point has been equality, parity, choice and opportunity. In my eyes, something does not need to be split 50/50 precisely down the middle in order for it to be -- humans are capable of much more complexity in emotional thought and physical negotiation. So this idea that the "female only" nature of breastfeeding makes it inherently repressive to me feels ludicrous.

Now I do believe that it could be oppressive if a partner or other people are forcing a woman to breastfeed or making her feel so guilty that she is doing it and feeling like she has no other choice. That to me is most certainly anti-feminist. But there it has nothing to do with the act itself and everything about the expectations of others when feminism is, at least in part, about freeing the self and being able to act with self-agency.

I knew I wanted to breastfeed even before I was certain that I wanted to have children. And once I was pregnant, I worked to educate myself on the process and the resources (living here in the DC area, I am fortunate to have a tremendous amount of access). Once Abigail was born, I networked with other breastfeeding moms (another very especial thank to Meggan on this one) and even got professional intervention (have a few extra bucks? seriously consider donating it to The Breastfeeding Center of Greater Washington -- amazing, amazing place). I even went so far as to have Abigail seen by an ENT specialist when issues with her feeding ended up warranting it (and it made such a difference that I am very glad I did). Why go into all of this? Because through this whole process, I felt genuinely empowered; I was making the choices that felt best for my daughter and for me about how she was going to eat. I have nursed her at family gatherings, at the Bodies exhibit, I have even nursed her at a New Jersey rest stop (and staying at one long enough to do that should demonstrate our level of commitment). I haven't felt oppressed by breastfeeding because I was freely choosing to pursue it, doing so even at times when others might have decided that the level of work required was beyond what they would want give. That work ended up being an additionally empowering part of the choice -- I found the way to overcome the obstacles that would potentially keep me from this choice. What could be more feminist than that?

I would say that (for me, at least) this also extended to pumping once I was back at work full time. Some women hate pumping, other women don't mind it, and I can't say I've met a mama who was totally excited by it. I definitely fell into the not minding crowd in terms of the logistics of the act. However, it was empowering in its own way because here I was pursuing my role in the work world while at the same time providing the consistent food Abigail needed. I pumped for her until she was about 14 months old, slowly transitioning her to cow's milk starting around the time she was a year. But during those first few months back at work when the transition was toughest, I at least knew that was getting my milk and only mine, the only food she had ever had. That was an important emotional link, an empowering link (I keep using that word because it just fits).

Breastfeeding can be an inherently feminist act, allowing the body to perform a function for which it was designed. This doesn't mean that all women's bodies cooperate or that all women will have this sort of thought process about breastfeeding. But in my feminist utopia, women would come to this with a clean slate, with no preconceived notions about it being gross or sexual, with access to safe space and resources, so that they could make the right decision for themselves and their babies. And if they opted to formula feed as being the right thing, then that decision would have been made honestly and appropriately and without the encumbering baggage of others' expectations -- and that would be empowering.

Abigail is 16 going on 17 months at this point. I still nurse her mornings and evenings and if she wakes during the night. I have now chosen the route of extended breastfeeding and I still find it an empowering choice to make. I know I could push her to wean, but I feel no push myself to do so. Her interest will wane and that may also be combined with small pushes from me...we will have to see how the next several months go. But it still comes back to me having the freedom and the power to make these decisions for her and me. I think Simone would be proud.